![\"gre](\"\/\/cdn.manhattanprep.com\/gmat\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/18\/2000\/berman-paranoid.jpg\")
\u201cI\u2019ve never seen any of these words before, but I bet they all mean, \u2018You\u2019re a loser\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cMany a true word is said in jest.\u201d—I don\u2019t know, but I heard it from my mother.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never seen any of these words before, but I bet they all mean, \u2018You\u2019re a loser\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy is this question here? Why am I here?\u00a0 When\u2019s the civil service exam?\u00a0 Garbage men still have a union. . .\u201d<\/p>\n
Have you lived that movie?\u00a0 Paranoia is only human\u2014and the old saying is true: \u201cJust because you\u2019re paranoid doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re not out to get you.\u201d\u00a0 Paranoia is a primal reaction, developed to help protect humans from animals with sharp, pointy teeth.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it is not helpful when one is facing questions with sharp, pointy teeth.\u00a0 Even though the GRE is out to get you.\u00a0 Failing to control your paranoia is a hidden reason for underperforming on the actual exam.<\/p>\n
On this blog, I and others have discussed many factors crucial for success: foundation skills, strategies, timing, precision, and so forth.\u00a0 And it\u2019s like I say about L.A.—everything you ever read [here] about it is true.\u00a0 However, after honing these skills, after achieving mastery, too many test takers succumb to their paranoia and thus revert when taking the actual exam, especially for the first time.\u00a0 Even 99th<\/sup> percentile skills will crumble if undermined by irrational panic and the results will not be gratifying.\u00a0 (Have you ever watched the Chicago Cubs play a post season series?)\u00a0 \u00a0To succeed, folks must understand the difference between dispassionate, objective analysis—\u201cI\u2019ve never gotten a surface area question right in life, why do I think I\u2019ll have a divine inspiration today?\u201d—and irrelevant fear—\u201cThey\u2019re going to tattoo a scarlet \u201cL\u201d on my forehead.\u201d \u00a0Just as folks plan question and timing strategies, they must develop tools to banish their internally generated negative visualizations.<\/p>\n How do you tell the difference?\u00a0 Objective analysis responds to the stimuli on the monitor.\u00a0 Paranoia is a response to internal doubts.\u00a0 (Notice how this is parallel to the nature of the exam—search for the answer on the screen, not in the opinions in your head.)\u00a0 Sometimes, after you\u2019ve read a question twice (everyone has a sinking feeling the first time), you hear yourself singing, \u201cI\u2019ve got the \u2018I don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going but I\u2019m going nowhere in a hurry\u2019 blues.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the truth, not paranoia.\u00a0 Bail out.\u00a0 As one of my acting coaches used to say, \u201cOnly schizophrenics don\u2019t react to the reality around them.\u201d\u00a0 Conversely, paranoia is when your thoughts of impending disaster revolve around your supposed shortcomings rather than the material on the screen.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve said before, if while taking the exam you find yourself thinking about how big a dumb ass you are, check the question—if it doesn\u2019t read, \u201cWhich of the following best describes how big a dumb ass you are?\u201d, you\u2019re thinking about the wrong thing.\u00a0 That is paranoia.\u00a0 No kidding—you knew that. Well then, why do people recognize the difference between analysis and paranoia but still succumb to the latter?\u00a0 Because they try to do the impossible.\u00a0 They try not to have thoughts of failure.\u00a0 That\u2019s impossible—you can\u2019t override human nature.\u00a0 I have feelings of paranoia, even though I\u2019ve always scored in the 99th<\/sup> percentile.\u00a0 I still have them\u2014even though I don\u2019t really care about my score anymore.\u00a0 Instead, you have to recognize irrationality in yourself and laugh it off.\u00a0 I say to myself, \u201cSave some of that craziness for menopause.\u201d\u00a0 Then I giggle, read the question again, and really listen to the words.\u00a0 And if I still don\u2019t get it, I say, \u201cScrew them if they can\u2019t take a joke.\u201d\u00a0 And bail out.<\/p>\n Maybe some of you can\u2019t make jokes to yourself during the exam because you\u2019re worried about your entire future.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the problem—if a chunk (or all) of your mind is thinking about things other than the words on the monitor, it will lower your score.\u00a0 It\u2019s the difference between worrying about being the hero or the goat and just seeing the ball and hitting the ball.\u00a0 Feelings of failure while taking the exam are like stage fright.\u00a0 That\u2019s what stage fright is—standing up there thinking you look like an idiot.\u00a0 You say, \u201cNo, it\u2019s much different—they give me a piece of paper that says I\u2019m an idiot.\u201d\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 It\u2019s the same.\u00a0 So, I\u2019ve got another suggestion for you, if you didn\u2019t like the first one.<\/p>\n In acting school, to combat stage fright, the coaches would say, \u201cPut that energy into the doing.\u201d\u00a0 When you\u2019re acting that meant really<\/i> shake hands, really<\/i> serve the tea, really<\/i> ask the question, and really<\/i> listen to the answer, even though you\u2019ve heard it a hundred times before. . .the last one is the hard part, by the way.\u00a0 It\u2019s the same on the GRE—put the energy into the doing.\u00a0 You want to worry about something while you\u2019re taking the test?\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about your score.\u00a0 Worry about really<\/i> being specific, not assuming, picking what must follow.\u00a0 Worry about listening to the words.\u00a0 Worry about recognizing question types and responding efficiently.\u00a0 Worry about investing in winners and making good guesses on losers.\u00a0 That\u2019s putting the energy into the doing.<\/p>\n And, as in life, it\u2019s really a lot easier if you\u2019re on your own side.\u00a0 Then you can give your full attention to the problems.\u00a0 Just believe in yourself.\u00a0 Banish doubts and self-abnegation*—it\u2019s a good idea for life in general but especially while you\u2019re taking the GRE.\u00a0 You know what they say, \u201cCornerbacks have short memories.\u201d\u00a0 Your internally generated fears are pointless obstacles.\u00a0 They are also fantasies and no more likely than most of your good fantasies (fill in your own joke here)<\/span>. . .if I made one, they\u2019d send me to re-education camp.\u00a0 Here, I\u2019ll sing to you:<\/p>\n \u201cJust like Mary Shelley,<\/i><\/p>\n Just like Frankenstein,<\/i><\/p>\n Break your chains,<\/i><\/p>\n and count your change,<\/i><\/p>\n And try to walk the line.\u201d<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Okay, I know some of you are saying, \u201cYeah, right.\u201d\u00a0 Or maybe you don\u2019t think you can do it.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got one more pitch for you—-worrying about your score while you are taking the exam is crazy on top of crazy.\u00a0 Because YOU CAN NOT TELL HOW YOU ARE DOING WHILE YOU ARE TAKING THE TEST.\u00a0 You doubt me?\u00a0 Well, as a grand finale, I\u2019ve got a hugely obnoxious story to illustrate that point.\u00a0 The last time I took the GRE. . .well, \u201cmy momma done told me there\u2019d be days like that.\u201d\u00a0 Despite the fact that I find my personal problems infinitely fascinating, let\u2019s just say that everything that could go wrong did go wrong, including a 2PM start after being stuck in the California sun most of the morning and not eating all day.\u00a0 (As a by the way, we at Manhattan GRE recommend the exact opposite on your test day.)\u00a0 And when I needed more scrap paper, the proctor scurried over. . .as quickly as her seemingly* artificial hip could bring her.<\/p>\n Anyway, I felt awful and thus it seemed like I was struggling.\u00a0 And, yes, my paranoia reared its ugly head and whispered in my ear, \u201cYou\u2019re going to get twin 149\u2019s.\u00a0 This is going to be humiliating.\u201d\u00a0 At the end, with great trepidation, I clicked the score button: twin 169\u2019s.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re throwing up in your mouth a little now, but the point isn\u2019t how smart I am—that\u2019s just collateral damage.\u00a0 The point is that I\u2019ve been doing this since the LAST CENTURY and I have no clue as to how I\u2019m scoring!\u00a0 <\/b>Let it go!\u00a0 Everyone feels awful.\u00a0 You can\u2019t tell how you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 So it\u2019s crazy to worry about it.\u00a0 Just keep stepping into the punches. . .you know, like Rocky.\u00a0 Be cool.\u00a0 Stay calm.\u00a0 You know what the Spitfire pilots used to say before missions against overwhelming odds?\u00a0 \u201cGood luck and good hunting.\u201d\u00a0 Say that to yourself.<\/p>\n *There\u2019s a couple of GRE words for you.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter if you knew them.\u00a0 But did you look them up?\u00a0 Keep building your foundation.\u00a0 And hang tough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cMany a true word is said in jest.\u201d—I don\u2019t know, but I heard it from my mother. \u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve never seen any of these words before, but I bet they all mean, \u2018You\u2019re a loser\u2019.\u201d \u201cWhy is this question here? Why am I here?\u00a0 When\u2019s the civil service exam?\u00a0 Garbage men still have a union. 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