Hurricane Irene: Incredibly Inappropriate Use of Vocabulary
“Hurricane Irene is tearing into town! You should be prepared ” sartorially, that is. In case your rainy day staples aren’t up to par, we found the jeans, trenches and boots to get you through this Category 3 storm in style.” -Lauren DeCarlo for TheFeast.com
Your blog editor is currently filing this post from Lower Manhattan, which is bracing itself for an inundation (a.k.a. a deluge).
One news reporter suggested we “hunker down,” an evocative expression that means:
- 1. to crouch or squat; to sit on one’s haunches
- 2. to settle in at a location for an extended period
- 3. (figuratively) to maintain a position and resist yielding to some pressure, as of public opinion
- 4. to take shelter, literally or figuratively; to assume a defensive position to resist difficulties
While checking storm coverage, this editor couldn’t help but cringe at this vocab-filled but phenomenally tactless ad:
Sartorial is a nice vocabulary word. It means “pertaining to tailors or clothing.”
Great. Moving on: 9 people have died and the storm hasn’t even hit NYC yet.
Tactless means “undiplomatic, offensively blunt, lacking tact.” Tact is “a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.” Don’t confuse tact, tactful, and tactless with “tactical,” which means “relating to tactics, strategic.”
Here are some other words to describe this “article”:
Opportunistic, which means taking “opportunities” at the expense of others, or “the policy or practice, as in politics, business, or one’s personal affairs, of adapting actions, decisions, etc., to expediency or effectiveness regardless of the sacrifice of ethical principles.”
Crass, which means “without refinement, delicacy, or sensitivity; gross; obtuse; stupid.”
The article itself is much worse.
“Irene is packing wind gusts up to 125 mph. Keep your fly-aways in place with this pretty headband from Anthropologie.”
“Puddles and pants don’t mix so swing by National Jean Company and try on a pair of AG’s Stilt Roll-Up Jeans. Not only are they cropped, but they’re not too tight at the hem so you can still roll them up an inch ” just in case. Parts of Puerto Rico got dumped with 10 inches of rain”don’t you want to be prepared?”
(As of right now, President Obama has signed a disaster declaration for Puerto Rico in the aftermath of Hurricane Irene.)
According to the writer, “Rainy days means comfy days, but don’t slack off when it comes to your style.” For Hurricane Irene, you should wear an Ann Taylor sleeveless trench, a $300 silk maxi dress (dry clean only), and an Anthropologie headband, while you carry a “bubble umbrella.” You are warned that “a hat might be too much.”
Also, sleeveless trenchcoats are ridiculous. Haiku:
Oh, sleeveless trenchcoat.
Like a sock without a heel,
Dumb in bad weather.
In fact, I have a good word for useless fashion objects, especially in inappropriate environments:
- 1. finery in dress, especially when showy, gaudy, or the like.
- 2. empty display; ostentation.
- 3. gewgaws; trifles.
Quiz yourself: Can you define inundate, deluge, hunker down, sartorial, tactless, tact, tactical, opportunistic, crass, and frippery? Should you use potential national disasters to sell clothes? (Hint: Reread the post for definitions, and no, you really shouldn’t.)